Without you
by tryst.locket
Summary: A Hannah and John Paul story.this is my first fan fic ever.hannah is struggling bigtime to get over jhon paul.will her shock tactics win him over?please review
1. Breaking Point

Without you

Hannah wiped away the tears.For the third time this day, her thoughts had wondered to _her_ beloved John Paul.The image of him kissing Spike flased before her eyes.She had made him that way.

Standing before the mirror, her body, that had so repulsed John Paul was laid bare before her eyes.She pinched the skin and flicked the fat.She yanked her hair.Spikes hair was short.John Paul liked short hair – he liked Spike.

As Hannah made her way towards the bathroom her commen sense screamed for her to stop.But the wrenching love she had for John Paul was to strong.She could _not _resist it.She needed John Paul, he was hers.

As she reached into the medicine cabinet her hands grasped the cool, hard metal of her dads' razer.

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I will continue this if you guys want to find out what happens next.

Comments appreciated

I lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve hollyoaks!


	2. School

Hannah had skipped breakfast. She had managed to avoid her mum and Josh. But, even without looking into a mirror she knew, that the beanie hat she was wearing made her bald head even more obvious.

Sitting in class with John Paul in front and Sarah next to her, all she could hear were Sonny and Wayne whispering behind their hands.

"…Right freak"

"Thinks her fairy boy will come running back…"

"Pathetic…"

"Mind you. If she needs anybody to comfort her "Sonny whispered and leaned forward, "I am her man…"

Hannah shuddered. Sonny Valentine sickened her. The thought of him touching her made Hannah even more confident that know one would see her head. She knew though, speculation was already rife. Since entering the building she had heard rumors of Leukemia, knits, stress related hair loss, religious conversion and lesbianism.

Before long Hannah's fears would become a reality…


	3. Horror

Hannah trudged through the muddy football field. The day had been hell. Boys that seemed half her age had asked to see some girl on girl action and Sarah and Nancy had not stopped talking about Foz or Craig. To make things worse, John Paul had said nothing to her all day.

She dropped her bag in the hall and sighed. Automatically she reached for her hat, and then she remembered.

"Hey, sis," Josh grinned at her.

Hannah stared at him.

How could he be so happy?

"Han, eat up those vegetables" her mum encouraged "there's no cals in veggies you know."

"Take of the hat." her dad said. "You know that we don't have hats at the dinner table."

"She's bald!" Josh laughed.

"What?" for a second, her mum had looked horrified, and then she laughed, "Honestly Josh, you nearly gave me a heart attack."

Her mum turned to her. "Go on then Han, off with the hat."

Hannah gulped. She had played this conversation over and over in her mind.

"I…I…I can't."

"Han, it's not cold" Rhys laughed.

"No it's not that, I umm, I… have…"her eyes scanned the ceiling as she thought up an excuse,  
"Nits, I have nits.

"Oh God. Come up to the bathroom. Ill take the nit comb through it…"

"NO…no I'll do it"

Hannah leapt from her chair. It fell backwards.

"Pick it up, Han"Rhys sighed.

As Hannah bent forward to pick the chair up, Rhys snatched the hat of her head. Dropping the chair, Hannah spun round – facing the shocked and horrified looks of her family.


	4. Business as usual

Hannah stood frozen in shock. Rhys had dropped her hat and her mother stood gaping. Josh was grinning – pleased to be proved right. Her dad laughed nervously.

"I think it looks cute…"he said, in his I'm your father and I'll always love you voice.

"You…you…shaved your head??"Her mums' expression of disgust was fiery and real.

"Look mum, I umm i'm in a play…"Hannah searched desperately – even she knew that was a painfully rubbish excuse. She automatically reached to her hair – to run her fingers threw it. The feel of her sweaty skin shocked her.

"Oh, a play is it?" her mother laughed "Hannah, what kind of an idiot do you take me for? Do you really think any fool would believe that excuse?"

"Look mum I…I just needed a change."

"A change? So is that what you girls call coming out then?"

"What? Mum what are you…?"

"Don't try and hide it Hannah – I know why you haven't had another boyfriend since John Paul."

Rhys laughed. He leaned over and imaged ruffling her hair.

"Come on mum – get a sense of humor!"

"No Rhys, this is sick! She is a girl – not a bloody skin-head. Good God, the sight of her!"

Rhys, Josh and their dad sloped off – they didn't want to get involved.

"Why Han?"

"Mum, I am not a lesbian!"

"Then why the shaved hair?"

Hannah sniffed. A silent tear dropped of her cheek.

"Oh Han, come here" her mum held out her arms.

Hannah felt like she was a little kid again when she leapt onto her mums lap.

"Now, Han listen to me, it is important, when _I_ broke up with_ my_ first boyfriend _I_ went through a stage of depression, but you have to pull through this. It won't last for long. _I_ know that your situation is different but, my mum…(blahblahblah)"

Hannah had already tuned out. This was always the problem. Her mum only cared about herself. She had no idea what Hannah was going through.

She sighed. Her mum jabbered on.


End file.
